• Aditya

How On Earth Do You Love Yourself ?

A few days ago, during a discussion among friends about what we all look forward to in 2019, one of them exclaimed ‘ I have simply devoted 2019 to Loving Myself More ! ’

While this left everyone in awe at the beauty and depth of this melodious answer, it also resulted in the end of conversation, as if these words were a panacea for the variety of problems each one of us was facing. I’m yet to determine whether it was these specific words or the alcohol that resulted in complete consensus in an otherwise constantly debating group of people.

Nevertheless, this idea stuck with me and after reflecting on it for a long time, I kept asking myself

How on Earth Do You Love Yourself ?

Before you throw a thousand articles, videos or several happy and positive quotes my way on how to love yourself, let me be honest and say I get the gist of it.

  1. Take a vacation or have fun by yourself

  2. Start a journal

  3. Take care of your health

  4. Give yourself credit

  5. Forgive yourself and others

  6. List your achievements

And the list can go on in various forms of similar acts of self care and self-compassion, highlighting the need to acknowledge one’s life for what they have and to stop focusing on what’s missing.

All this advice is fantastic and I’m certain it can work wonders. But wait, did you just forget that journal you started amid all the grocery store items you needed ? Traveled by yourself lately ? Still fighting with your cousin for cutting you out from the wedding invitation list ?

Well, the idea of loving yourself is unrealistically simplistic, to say the least. It may offer the temporary happiness boost to nudge you out from a dull working day, but would you agree that it isn’t your permanent solution after all ? Would you be able to love yourself when you receive the worst criticism from your peers after all the sleepless nights on a single project ? Just Love Yourself is certainly not the advice you want at this time.

We are social animals, and no matter how often we try to portray ourselves as solo achievers, we like to have an entourage that acts as the constant encouragement and driving force behind every action. You travelled solo to Timbuktu, and there you are seeking validation from the world on Instagram. You want company, even if its virtual !

The truth is, you will Love Yourself when your life has a Meaningful Impact on the people around you. Your actions may not be revolutionary, but as long as they make a difference in your tiny world, as long as you can motivate, inspire or brighten anothers state of mind, you’re happy. And as long as you consistently strive to make a difference and watch your actions blossom into smiles and appreciation from others, you’re loving yourself like never before !

When do you love yourself more ? That time when your colleague couldn’t stop thanking you for sharing their workload, or when you simply listed out your year round achievements on your performance review form ?

Loving Yourself implies loving the Purpose of Your Life, and finding this purpose is a voyage we all share. 

What you seek is the purpose that will lift your feet off the bed early morning in eager anticipation, because you know someone out there needs you to do something. You want to feel needed and it’s the most human thing to desire — don’t reject it !

You have the ability to make a change. Regardless of whether it is a big or a small change, make sure you love yourself for making it happen 🙂

Carpe Diem !

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Choose Self-Compassion over Self-Esteem

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